Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
