i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
