I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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