If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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