it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
