I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
