my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
