Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
