Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
