Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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