Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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