omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
