addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
