So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
