just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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