He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
