Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
