we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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