You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
