It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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