Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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