i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Vodka?
Forever.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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