im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
