Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
