He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
