so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
