apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize