He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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