i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
