Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
