found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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