I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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