I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
