just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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