I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
