He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Semen is not good for contacts.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
