Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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