I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
