I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
