She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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