She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
