so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
