Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize