I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
