New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
