Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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