Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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