You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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