dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
