You really coming over, don't trick.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
