I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
