Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
