I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
