he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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