I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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