WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
