Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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