Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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