when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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