it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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