He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
