Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize