I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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