lets start a swedish sibling band together
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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