how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
