it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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