The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hippo gnu deer
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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