I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize