I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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