I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
